I should have never said hello....

I'm having intense thoughts of overwhelming sadness. I miss you and to know you might not return is killing me. There's so much I feel like I want to tell you. I haven't felt this way in a long time and I honestly just want to recover. I know you say I deserve better than you but what if I only want you. What if I'm turning down guy after guy just stay in your life. I don't want to believe this encounter was in vein.